Explore the fascinating subconscious choices that draw us to dogs who are, quite literally, our furry clones.
I’ve heard that people subconsciously choose dogs that mirror them in appearance. You might even get a class for ‘Dog most like their owner’ at your local show. Sometimes, that happens with personality as well. We are often drawn to people who share our character traits. There can be a sense of safety in siding with the familiar, and perhaps without even realising it, we opt for pups that fulfil that need in us. Logically, there is some sense in this; if we are a bubbly, social, outgoing person who wants our dog to join in the fun, picking a sensitive, nervous pooch could lead to a mismatch between our expectations of dog ownership and the reality of life with our new friend. This source of conflict can result in a less-than-positive experience of living with a dog and even lead to a complex and stressful decision to relinquish that pet.

But what about the impact of our personality on our dog? Our traits may not be that strong a predictor of how we will behave in a particular situation, but they do affect how we behave in the long term, such as over the lifetime of our dog.
Personality is commonly assessed using the ‘Big Five’ model, which looks at…
-
Agreeableness or empathy: the tendency to be helpful, tolerant, trusting and cooperative.
-
Emotional stability or neuroticism: a measure of our balance between our tendency to anxiety and concern (low emotional stability) versus calmness and self-satisfaction.
-
Extraversion: all about how sociable and outgoing we are, our desire for company and interaction.
-
Openness to experience: the balance between a tendency to be imaginative, curious and independent, compared to a preference for routine and conventional approaches.
-
Conscientiousness: our degree of organisation, perseverance, discipline and dependability, as opposed to impulsiveness.
We all express these traits to some degree; our personality is a unique combination of factors. The balance of these traits affects how we behave towards others, including dogs. It affects our approach to handling them, caring for them and the bond we form with them.
How we perceive our relationship with our dogs can affect how we behave around them. Openness has been linked to forming a stronger bond with your dog, perhaps being more tolerant of owning a dog with traits that might be considered less desirable. Maybe your bond makes you more accepting of these differences. A higher level of openness links to treating dogs with greater warmth, empathy and enthusiasm and a less controlling approach, which can result in your dog seeking you out for support.
People with a higher score in neuroticism (lower emotional stability) are more likely to see their pets as a source of social support. They tend to bond closer with their dog, pay them more attention, and own dogs who spend more time near them. This could potentially lead to a greater chance of separation-related anxiety in the dog (and perhaps their owner!), just like being apart from any loved one might.

Extraverts may see dogs as companions to share activities with rather than providing social support. They may be less likely to own dogs who are worried about strangers. Is that because they pick more outgoing, confident dogs? Or maybe a dog picks up on an anxious person’s emotions? While it’s hard to tell if emotional contagion spreads from humans to dogs. It pays to be aware of your responses; can you handle situations more calmly if your dog worries about your anxiety? Are you overprotective, perhaps because of an unpleasant experience in your past? Did your concerns mean you could not socialise your pup to various experiences? Of course, this does not matter one jot if you both stay within your comfort zone. We all construct our world to meet our needs, so if our pet has similar needs, we can form a match made in our version of heaven.
Conscientiousness is about our sense of responsibility, reflected in our attitude to caring for and handling dogs. Greater conscientiousness may give dogs a sense of security if routine and structure shape their days, and owners are less likely to report their dogs fear strangers. Perhaps a conscientious owner invites the dog to bond more strongly with them, allowing a sense of protection in their presence.

When it comes to training, conscientious owners seem to have dogs who appear more focused on the task, while dogs with anxious owners are less effective at working together. It’s recognised that how we communicate, perhaps through eye contact and posture, influences their responsiveness. People who score higher for Openness and Neuroticism tend to use more gestures and cues to convey information to their dogs. As a result, their pet can be slower to respond, so it’s possible they are confused by the wealth of information offered. Sometimes, a simple cue and related gesture are all that’s needed. If you’re prone to chattering to your dog, they might not realise a request is hidden in the banter.
Extroverts may be quicker to praise their dog and do so more often. They might also greet them enthusiastically and are drawn to more outgoing dogs. Having the confidence to make yourself look silly will influence your attitude; would you rather snuggle up together or fool around in a game of rough and tumble?

It used to be said that over-indulging your dog would lead to behaviour problems. However, there is limited evidence that owners tempted to spoil their pooch have more concerns in this area. Does this depend on how we define spoiling? A dog can only view the ‘treat’ in a canine way. What matters is how much relevance and value it has to them. You might ‘spoil yourself ’ with a day at a luxury spa, but a trip to the groomer may not be desirable from your pet’s perspective. There is no evidence that feeding your dog before you eat, playing certain games or allowing them to win more results in your dog developing a desire to be in charge. So, if that’s what you feel happy doing, go ahead!
A study in 2018* found only ‘modest’ associations between owners’ low scores on four of the ‘Big Five’ traits and their dog’s behaviour, suggesting that the picture is much broader than our personality’s contribution to the situation. We know that sensitive children are more likely to be affected by a parenting style less suited to their needs, and it’s reasonable to assume that the same could occur with our dogs. What is perceived as stressful depends on genetic predisposition and life experiences. It may be that if your personality is similar to that of your dog, you are more able to empathise with and understand their needs. You might also be more likely to adopt a lifestyle that suits them and be more alert to their concerns.
Intriguingly, the most important predictor of a happy outcome in the relationship between a person and their dog may not be how well they are matched so much as how well they think they are matched. Yes, believing your pet is like you can link to greater satisfaction with your dog in a phenomenon called ‘personality matching.’ This might include shared interests, shared possessions and the ability to get along with others.
Generally, we tend to see similarities with things we like. Being attached to your pet is also likely to make you believe they are better than the average dog (but of course they are!). Given that personality can change over time, we may also ‘grow’ our dog to have a personality that matches our own. Either could come first!
While having similar character traits to your dog can be the key to a successful and enjoyable relationship with them, opposites also attract. In my experience, it depends significantly on how much the differences impact your lifestyle. I have had several dogs who struggle to cope with other breeds and social situations. Although I might be sad that they can’t join me for activities they wouldn’t cope with, this can work out if they are happy to be left home alone. I can leave them to snooze in their happy place while I find other ways to be out and about with dogs doing the things mine don’t want to. However, a reactive dog with separation anxiety would have a much greater impact and require more significant lifestyle changes to accommodate.
Our personality influences our relationships with people and dogs and can make a difference in how we feel about those relationships. It also has an impact on the nature of the bonds that we form with our dogs. We’ll look at this in more detail next time when we consider what holds us together.
Reproduced with permission from one of our favourite partners Edition Dog, Issue 65 2024, Author: Jenifer Dow - find out how you can read more amazing canine content at Edition Dog